Sammy is Half Life Crisis’ main artist. This site finally came to life when Sammy demonstrated affinity for the arts, and that was the start to this project!
When Half Life Crisis was created it was meant as a dad-daughter team effort. Sammy is my little artist, and this site was also meant to do be a platform to showcase her artwork. Sammy has non-verbal autism, and through artwork she opens a window into her world. Today is a special day and I wanted to dedicate this article to her.
© 2011 Marcelo Baqueroalvarez / HLC |Marcelo Sammy baby and Alicia Baqueroalvarez welcome baby Sammy home
12 years ago, today
Sammy was in a hurry to be born, she almost made it to eight months when she came into the world. Being a preemie baby, Sammy spent several weeks in the NCIU (Neonatal Intensive Care Unit) before she was finally able to come home. Today, 12 years ago, Sammy came home for the first time after being born.
Over the years Sammy has demonstrated that she enjoyed the arts. Every person diagnosed with Autism is unique, and every day is full of discovery. Some days are very challenging, but I would not change it for the world. She is my daughter, and I am her dad – she is my world. And when she invites me to partake in her life-expression I can’t help but feel like the luckiest parent on the planet.
This is especially true whenever I go back in time to remember when I was only allowed to see Sammy for a few hours while she was in the NICU. At the time I was going to a rigorous military school, and every day after class I would stop at the hospital to visit Sammy. My wife Alicia (Sammy’s mom) was also in the Hospital for several days after Sammy was born. I would return every night to sleep at home by myself while both my girls were so close – yet so far.
Sammy’s nursery was waiting for her fully stocked with all the presents we had lovingly gathered before and after she was born. My little girl was loved to the max. Around this time my mother, who passed away a few years ago, was staying with us. Things were so different back then.
My mother loved hanging out with Sammy, even though Sammy was too young to have any memory of her. That does break my heart, but Sammy was still so little by the time my mother left, and she (my mother) was unable to return to USA as her health declined. For many years Sammy had endured a lot of changes that have tested her resiliency beyond belief.
Autism can cause regressions, and Sammy suffered three major ones in her short lifetime. Regressions are triggered when the surrounding stimuli are too much to handle. It is borderline impossible to understand where these stimuli frontiers are laid out. As I said, every person with Autism is unique, and these frontiers are not fixed, they are dynamic. Over the years I’ve learned to identify them, but it has been a bumpy (euphemism for extremely challenging) learning curve.
But no matter what the challenges, every second is worth it just to see her bright gaze. Sometimes her gaze has melancholy, often it is bright and smiley, but it is always precious. The depth of her eyes is so profound that a million words cannot quantify all that is inside her beautiful mind. Through art Sammy is able to share this wonderful world that otherwise goes unnoticed. And there is so much to discover.
© 2023 Marcelo Baqueroalvarez / HLC | Samantha Baqueroalvarez visual artist paining and showcasing her artwork.
Sammy the Artist
Sammy was a little chatterbox just until the time my mother left for Ecuador and was unable to return. Sammy has never been chatty again. For a long time, she was a remarkably quiet child. However, I did notice she loved singing. And when she did, her words would just flow effortlessly with the lyrics. Sammy always enjoyed it when I sang and played music for her, and she would love chasing me around so we could sing together.
This was well before I knew she was diagnosed with Autism. I’m not going to go onto details about it because that is a topic in its own right, but what I will tell you is that it worked wonders. This was a game changer for Sammy’s confidence and diction. She also has perfect pitch (and I say this as a musician, not as her father), but she only sings when she is exuberantly happy. Even though she is a happy child, sometimes she sings a lot, other times there will be weeks between songs. Regardless she has always loved music.
Her affinity for abstract art was not evident for several years after her interest in music became obvious. Surprisingly, her first painting was a school project. She had to collect some leaves and douse them in watercolor. Until then I’ve never seen her so focused and how she enjoyed expressing herself through art. I wrote an article on this piece and seeing her loving this form of expression is an important reason why Half Life Crisis was developed.
© 2020 Marcelo Baqueroalvarez / HLC | Sammy discovering her passion for painting leaves.
I posted this article December 2, 2020 – this is the second article I wrote for Half Life Crisis – but her painting was created in October of the same year. I have to admit that her first painting was only done with whatever materials we had at home – and I was not as prepared as I would have liked for that moment. Yet she surprised me, and I knew right away this was something she cared about.
From there I went all out and got Sammy all the painting materials she could wish for, and she was very happy to get her selection of paintbrushes, acrylics, watercolors, canvases, etc. It was like she knew what she wanted to do. During a period of time, she was happy painting every other day. She does that when she is happy – it is always spontaneous. I never know what she is painting until she is done.
Her artwork, admittedly, is very abstract. Yet there is always something hidden and prevalent in the middle of all her brushstrokes. The more you look into it, the more you find. And to be honest the pictures do not make it justice as her artwork – for some reason – actually seems to morph based on the light conditions and the angles. But in any case, I can always trace it back to an event she observed and captured her attention. It is an invitation to see the world from her own point of view.
In the near term I will be posting all her images in a virtual gallery in this very site. Sammy has painted a lot more pieces than the ones I’ve been able to compile in an article. In reality is because it has been extremely busy, and I just need time to dedicate it solely in doing just that. But in the meantime, I wanted to share with you that these pieces exist, and I will be posting them in the future.
None of her artwork is for sale because Sammy has not given consent on how to proceed with her artwork. For now, they adorn her bedroom, and other rooms in our house, many of her pieces are framed. As time goes by this allows me to put a timestamp on her creations. That is why she is labeled in our site as Our Main Artist.
In fact, Sammy is the artist who painted the artwork that became the cover for my second book. And yes, Sammy owns the rights for that artwork. Sammy also collaborated with Alicia (her mom and my wife) on the cover for my first book. It is very nice to see her expression shared in a way that features her front and center.
Among other visual arts, Sammy also discovered black and white photography. It is amazing how technology helps bring out our vision in such an effective manner. Sammy inherited pretty much all the cool stuff I ever got – and of course she is welcome to use any equipment I own. Afterall, everything I do is ultimately on her behalf. One of the things she inherited was one of my old iPhones, she loved especially the photo and video apps.
Before she inherited this device, she would use my phone from time to time and I would be finding all kinds of fascinating images she had captured with the camera. But she would always change them to black and white. When it is a memory she cherishes, she always changes it to black and white. There is something about that that makes it unique to her.
In the aforementioned forthcoming Sammy-gallery, I will be posting some selected images she has taken over the years. There are thousands of images so it will take me some time to go through them. I especially cherish these images because a lot of them were taken when I was away – normally away from home while fulfilling my military duties.
As time went by, I’ve noticed that Sammy preferred taking photos whenever I was gone, and painting whenever we were together.
© 2023 Marcelo Baqueroalvarez / HLC | Sammy painting her artwork piece "Motion Blur."
Renewed Artistic Spark
A few days ago, finally – after so many months Sammy painted a new piece. I will write a dedicated article to be featured in our “Original Art” tab in this very www.haflifecrisis.com site. This was a wonderful surprise, because Sammy has not been wanting to paint for a very long time. I never force her to paint if she’s not feeling it. Sammy broadcasts her feelings in her own way.
I was gone for most of 2023, 2022 and a large portion of 2021. There is no coincidence that it also matched the times Sammy did not feel the spark to express herself through painting in the same manner as before. I cannot begin to tell you how excited I was when she took it upon herself to paint again. This last piece spanned a few days. And this renewed inspiration started a few days after I was on leave (vacation) and we spent quality time just the two of us, while mom was in the other side of the country visiting her family.
As I said, I will be writing a dedicated article about this and all the other pieces I have not been able to post. But I will tell you very quickly what she painted about. It is titled “Motion Blur.” And this actually makes sense because she was helping me rake the leaves in our backyard. For a while she would run over the leaves, and then she would twirl and spin as she laughed and smiled. She would do that over and over again, having her innocent childhood moments as she made me company.
Admittedly, we have not had that much time to hang out together in such a long while. My life seems always so busy and full of chores and responsibilities. We hang out but we have not been able to be in our backyard for a long time. This is significant to me because it captures a moment we spent together after so long. Sammy is still not as chatty as when she was an infant, but through her art she shares millions of conversations. Thank you for spending this time with Sammy and me. HLC